What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
