Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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