He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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