I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize