You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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