I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
