Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
