I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize