I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
