I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize