my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
