he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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