shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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