I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize