I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Randomize
