Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
