am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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