i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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