C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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