Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
