idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
