Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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