Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
false alarm. still invincible.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
