I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
