Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
