fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize