Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize