I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
