It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
