SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
