so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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