I'm so fucking centered right now
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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