her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
