Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
