first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
