listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
