took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
