onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
