We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
