He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
