Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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