he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
