she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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