oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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