She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
