Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
