I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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