she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Found your dick twin last night
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
