I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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