dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I need moral support for this bender
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
