It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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