This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize