I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
