It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
