I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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