there was a trapeze. enough said
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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