your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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