So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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