the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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