just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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