What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
