Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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