i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
