I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
