You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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