i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
