Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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