Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
