Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
