we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize