He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
