my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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