i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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