We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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