Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
