i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
