i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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