Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hippo gnu deer
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
