No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
