Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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