She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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