Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
