the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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