I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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