Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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