your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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