i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
