i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
